Conflict is an inevitable and normal part of working within a diverse team.

It is natural to have different opinions or ways of approaching situations – if we all were the same it would be boring right?

While some people are quite comfortable embracing conflict, others find it very difficult, confronting and potentially damaging to their emotional well-being.

People are infinitely complex, yet in some ways predictable and having a diverse team can bring complicated dynamics to any workplace.

So, is conflict good or bad?  Can it be useful for a team?  Should it be avoided or embraced?

Well that depends on how it’s managed.

The foundation of managing conflict should be that CONFLICT is about issues and ideas, while ACCOUNTABILITY is around performance and behaviour.

In Patrick Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team, he defines the Conflict Continuum which ranges from artificial harmony (where people just agree or don’t speak up the real issues can get driven underground) to mean spirited conflict where there are personal attacks and hostility. He suggests the optimal place is in the middle where there is enough conflict to challenge ideas and improve performance, but not enough to damage relationships.

 

There are two types of conflict in the workplace: Healthy and Unhealthy.

Here’s some of the negative consequences unhealthy conflict can have if it’s not managed effectively:

• Reduced productivity – diverts valuable energy and attention from high value tasks to focusing on disagreements, personal agendas or mediation
• Stress and well-being – can cause anxiety, physical health issues or potentially burnout
• Absenteeism or lack of discretionary effort – when it all feels too hard, people begin to check out and only do the bare minimum
• Damaged relationships – communication breaks down, trust erodes and collaboration is nonexistent which can lead to toxic work environments where people feel like they’re walking on eggshells
• Decreased morale – team members feel the negative energy and can feel demotivated, sad or disengaged which can lead to increased turnover
• Reduced creativity, innovation and proactive suggestions – people are reluctant to speak up about ideas for fear of being belittled or shut down
• Increased costs with decreased efficiency, turnover, absenteeism and discretionary effort
• Customer or stakeholder experiences can be impacted through lack of teamwork, collaboration, communication and outcome focus
• Artificial harmony – people agree to things on the surface to avoid conflict but then go away and do the opposite or drive their conflict underground through passive aggressive behaviours like gossiping, cliques, sarcasm or sabotage
• Can create the extremes in behaviours – from victimhood to bullying and everything in between

Here’s how healthy conflict can benefit us all in the right working environment:

• Increases creativity or innovation through diversity in thinking
• Helps us to understand each other’s differences and strengths – building stronger teams
• Improves decision making from challenging the status quo to consider pros and cons of prospective choices
• Allows us to grow and learn from each other – through developing empathy, curiosity, patience, resilience and alternate perspectives
• Builds trust or psychological safety through being able to disagree with an idea and still feel respected as a person, resulting in stronger working relationships
• Empowers us to move forward and transition into new solutions
• Creates a sense of fairness and respect of everyone’s opinions
• Helps us to think more critically and strategically by taking into account different perspectives
• Prepares us for higher level conflict situations where we need to understand, negotiate and find a way forward with professionalism and assertiveness
• It helps us to separate between a conflicting viewpoint and conflict with another person – it is outcome focused and not personal
• The collective “brains trust” is better and stronger than any individual, and will also empower team members to have a sense of pride, ownership and commitment

So what are the top 10 ways to drive Healthy Conflict (and avoid unhealthy conflict) in your workplace?

1. Help your team to understand and appreciate each other’s different strengths, thinking styles, stressors, motivators and perspectives. The most powerful way to do this is with DISC Workplace Personality Profiles – the depth of emotional intelligence, self awareness and appreciation of others is profound and transformational for all involved.  The simple act of understanding each other better removes or reduces judgment to move into appreciation and acceptance, with awareness of how to adapt our behaviour to bring out the best in people who are different to ourselves.

2. Build trust as the foundation BEFORE the conflict happens. Trust can take years to build but moments to destroy, so a strong foundation is required.    People like working with people they know, like and trust – so relationship building is important as well as personal connections.   Most importantly, people need vulnerability-based trust where they feel respected, the other person has their best interests at heart and it is safe to admit their weaknesses if required.

3. Identify the real issues – is it personal, relationship, environmental or informational? There are four layers here:   the individual involved, the dynamics of a relationship with another person or people, the workplace or organisational culture and the facts involved. When we understand and agree on the perspectives within each of these we can begin to move forward.

4. Common goals and objectives.It’s important to establish an outcome that all parties agree they’d like to move towards – this helps them to move to where they are going together rather than the distance between them presently.

5.       Allow each person to be heard but make it clear that a solution is required. People need to feel understood before they can move forward, however there is a limit to how much time should be spent looking in the rear-view mirror.    Be clear that your objective is to find a solution and move past the conflict, not stay stuck.   Ask questions to understand the emotional impact but balance this sharing the negative impact it is having and a commitment to doing what the business needs, holding a standard for the types of behaviours required.

6.       Empower each person to choose to step up into the best version of themselves to resolve the issue. Support all parties to resolve the issue themselves as it is the only way it will have lasting results.  This could potentially require a coaching conversation to help them to consider options and choose their next steps with a very clear outcome that is required (resolution).

7.       Build a culture that supports ideas based, outcome focused conflict but does not tolerate personal attacks. Set clear boundaries and expectations around what types of behaviours belong in the workplace, supporting your people with practical emotional intelligence tools to help them navigate the inevitable conflicts when they arise.   Be proactive and don’t wait until things blow up to start to take action.  The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.

8. Focus solutions on WHAT is right rather than WHO is right. A powerful mindset shift is to focus on “what is right” rather than “who is right. This simple yet profound shift helps us to let go of our personal ego, pride or the need to be right and instead work towards the best outcome for everyone involved, including establishing a more harmonious and productive environment.

9. Remember everyone has their own model of the world and may be dealing with unique challenges outside of work. A useful presupposition is that we all go to work to do our best and we all like to feel appreciated, respected and valued. When we replace our judgment with empathy, curiosity and a genuine desire for all team members to be okay we create a positive intention as the foundation of any discussion. We never know what else may be happening in someone else’s world.

10. In the words of Kenny Rogers….You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run. There are some battles that are worth fighting for and others that are not. Pick your battles wisely and don’t be afraid to let it go if it means you can move forward to focus on what is really important in the bigger picture.